I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
Randomize
