you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
No...this little piggys going to the bar
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
Randomize
