He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
