We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
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