My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
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