Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
Randomize
