and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
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