How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
Randomize
