So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
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