i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
