Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
Randomize
