Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
Randomize
