Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Randomize
