Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
Randomize
