Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
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