dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
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