proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
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