so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Randomize
