i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Randomize
