I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
I want you more than these girls want KFC
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
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