I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
I'm at about main and main street
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
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