I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Randomize
