You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
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