Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
do herpes really smell.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
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