The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
Randomize
