I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
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