So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
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