every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
Terrible idea I love it
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
Randomize
