Rock
Scissors
Fuck
It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
hell yes lets make some ravioli
I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize
