i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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