How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
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