i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
