Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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