Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
