if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
Randomize
