please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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