He had one of those small greek statue penises
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
It's official drugs can't kill me
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize
