My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
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