I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
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