is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
Randomize
