I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
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