I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Randomize
