I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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