used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
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