currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
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