She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
Randomize
