We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
Randomize
