Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
Randomize
