Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
