in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
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