Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Randomize
